I could laugh at this, but only a little later

Well, today was my PET scan.  It was scheduled for 1:30pm.  I could not eat after 9:30am.  But luckily I could drink water.  I like to put orange slices in my water (for a little flavor, plus it's cute) and they said that would be OK.  So at 1:00 Larry came home to pick me up.  When I got to the medical pavilion I was taken back for my IV  (remember, they can't use the port).  The nurse that gave me IV was a radiology nurse so she was able to check my port, and said everything was healing just fine.  Look at me go!
    Then she gave me a 16oz drink.  It was warm and thick and white.  She said it tasted like a strong pina colada.  I took a sip, and let me just say, I don't know where she's getting her pina colada's but wherever that is, they're making them wrong!!  It tasted like thick warm yuck.  I had to apologize to her for the face I was making at her every time I took a sip.
  I just kept on taking big gulps (and making weird faces) hoping the drink would be gone soon.  Oh, did I mention she said the drink was barium.  Doesn't that just sound lovely??  Larry (my friend I like to take with me for support / comedy relief) said they should change the name of that drink to make it more appealing...it's all about the marketing.  So we came up with the name "berry-yumyum".  I tried to think of that name while I was drinking, but I still made the face!
  So then they took me back (my friend Larry could not come with me) to a quiet dark room.  A radiology tech came in and said he was going to put something in my IV and then I had to sit completely still for 1 hour before my scan.  I could not read or talk on the phone or even think really...just sit still!
  Then (my favorite part) he pulled out a silver tube with a huge needle coming out of it.  When I asked him why it was in a metal container he said "oh, we don't want to touch what it's there".  Oh, then please do go ahead and inject that into my veins! :)  And he did.
   I sat in the recliner for about 3 minutes before I went to sleep.  When he woke me up 57 minutes later he handed me ANOTHER cup of "berry-yumyum".  He said to drink it and then come over to the scan room.  So I took one drink, walked right into the bathroom and flushed the rest of it down the toilet.  Goodbye Berry-yuckyuck!
   Next, I was put on the scan table and he asked me to put my hands above my head.  He put straps on to hold my arms in place and to hold me onto the table.  Then the scan started.  He told me it would take about 25 minutes.  The scan was a little different than a CAT scan because when I started to go into the machine, it was more like a large tunnel.  For a second I got a little claustrophobic.  I closed my eyes and tried to find a happy place (which happened to be Maui, drinking a REAL pina colada, virgin style).  Luckily I started moving again and came out the other side and I could breathe again.  Of course at one point my nose started to itch, doesn't that always just happen when your arms are strapped above your head??
   So then, the scan was done.  And I will get the results on Monday at Dr, V's office.  She said the PET scan would show if any cancer cells were spreading to other parts of my body / organs.  She expected them to have not.
    Then, we came home and Larry picked up Lauren to take her to cheer, and then he headed back to work.
****************************HERE'S WHERE IT GETS GOOD************************
(if you have a weak stomach....do not read ahead,  Just end here.  Have a great day!)
So as soon as Larry pulls out of the driveway I feel like I have to go to the bathroom.  Like go RIGHT NOW!  So I run into the bathroom and I go.  Well, I was not warned that this would occur.  Nor was I warned that it would be bright green.  I'm talking fluorescent green.  Light up the room green.  Gross right? Well, then I started getting nauseous.  I think it's the "berry-yuckyuck" wanting to come back up.  It must be scared of the radio-active stuff that's now down there with it.  Anyway, all the sudden I think "I wonder where Hope is?"  I open the garage door just in time to see a friend of mine from church walking up the driveway with her 3 little girls.  She was just stopping by to check in with me and see how I was doing.  I thought to myself  "Oh, I'm just pooping florescent green...how are you??".  I spared her the details (do you wish you were that lucky), anyway, she headed out and I came back inside.  Still wondering where Hope is I come upstairs and found her in Lauren's bathroom using a razor shaving Lauren's deodorant.  Seriously??  I now know I'm no longer up for parent of the year.  I clean up that mess, just as I start to hear a really loud noise outside.  I looked out, and it was raining and hailing.  For some reason, my car was not pulled in the garage, and I know hail can cause all sorts of damage, so I run downstairs and throw on some flip flops and head out to the garage.  The garage door was up so the floor was a little wet.  Have you seen what happens when cheap plastic shoes come in contact with wet / icy garage floors??  Anyway, I went down.  I seriously thought to myself  "Of course I just fell. What a way to end my night".
   Then I got Josh and Hope in the car to go and watch Lauren cheer at football and on the way my mom called.  I answered my cell phone, but I could not talk through all my sobbing.  Because I just think, why did I have to have that stupid scan and drink that gross stuff and then be injected with that radio active stuff and then be woke up to drink more of that stuff to come home and poop the greenest stuff you've ever seen and then clean up the biggest mess ever and then FALL DOWN???  WHY????
  My poor mom called at just the right time (sorry mom).  I'm OK now.  Actually, I can laugh at this all now that it's a little later!  

ps  My pee is bright, fluorescent yellow.  :)  Must have been good stuff in that metal tube!

GOOD THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
It's bedtime!  G'nite!