Sunday, November 14, 2010

"Arrrgh, me Hearties"

                               (This is Larry's chart to track what medicines I've taken each day)
                                         (my medicine tote)

Day 25 of this journey also means round 2 is done.  I'm feeling very encouraged that I was able to take the whole Rituxin treatment as this was made very known to me how important this part of my treatment would be.   I was only able to have to the treatment put in on a 100 drip, where most people have it at 400.  But I always like to take things slow, see where they go.  Why rush into things right?
  This week I've had the typical side effects.  Tired, achy, headache.  But I've felt this week like cancer, or I should say the treatment of cancer, seems to take away the very essence of who I am.  I can't do basic things that make me who I am.  I can't move quickly, I don't feel any strength in my bones (although I know that means the Neulasta is working), and chemo brain?  Yes, that's a real thing.  I feel like my brain is in "sleepy mode" saying "I'll remember that later, maybe" and focus on something?  forget it!
   I'm still also working on getting some good sleep.  People have asked me if going through chemo is harder or easier than I thought.  My answer:  In some ways it's a lot easier (I'm not hanging out in the bathroom throwing up 24/7)  in other ways it's harder ( the chemo brain, hair loss, not sleeping, etc).  But overall, I feel like this round has gone a little easier.  I went into it feeling better than I did the first time.  My first round took until Tuesday before I felt like I could even be up and around, and this round I felt OK yesterday.  Still not totally myself, but I think I'm getting better a little faster.
   Larry's mom was able to come and stay with us this week.  It has been so nice to have her here helping, and to just be able to have my kids come home and know someone will be here for them.
   So this week I've been trying different things besides my wig.  I do wear my wig when I go out in general.  But when I'm home or just going to the cancer center, I've been trying other things.  My brother and his family gave me some hats and scarfs  so I decided to try the scarf  for my last day of treatment.  This may sound strange unless you're in my family, but I like pirates.  I have been known to call myself "Dread Pirate Roberts" and throw out a little "Arrrrrgh me heartie" every now and again.  So the day I wore my scarf, I put on my meanest, bravest, cancer-fightingest face (yes, in the pic I'm, trying not to laugh-don't laugh at me), and went in fighting like a pirate.  Funny thing is, I did get lots of compliments on the scarf 'cuz it is just dang cute.  (I should've shown them the mean face that goes with it :)

                                                 (yes, this is the scary, mean cancer-kicking face)

    ♥♥♥  King of Hearts update:  I've been wearing my heart monitor since Thursday.  I've recorded times where I feel like my heart is racing, which oddly enough is only when I'm laying completely still.  I'm hoping to be able to get some feedback on that this week.  I really, really hope it's an easy fix and not something to do with the placement of my port.  I'll update on that later.

  So, now I've pretty much put out there the negative side of my treatment week.  Arrrgh.  But I wanted to share with you something I found very uplifting:

(Version submitted by Kristen Homandberg, Pipestone Minnesota.)
It can't cripple love
It can't shatter hope
It can't corrode faith
It can't eat away peace
It can't destroy confidence
It can't kill friendship
It can't shut out memories
It can't silence courage
It can't invade the soul
It can't reduce eternal life
It can't quench the Spirits
It can't lessen the power of the resurrection.

Have a wonderful Sunday!  ♥~

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