My New Year Starts in February ♥

Hunstman Cancer Hospital

Bittersweet.  One more treatment down (the sweet part), two more to go (the bitter part).  I guess I really shouldn't complain, because remember....the treatment is working !
   I had treatment last week and had the usual symptoms.  I sort of know what to expect now.  I guess that's what happens.  Today I'm feeling quite a bit better.  I'm was able to get quite a bit done, but still desperately need to get my Christmas decor down.  Does anyone else go through that?  As soon as the New Year is here, I feel like I need to start with a clean house.  I'm not looking forward to taking down all the decorates...especially the awesome tree Derrick put up for me, but I know it's inevitable.  But now I'm on a time schedule because I will be spending the last 2 weeks of January in Utah.
    I will go down next week and have all my pre-tests done (EKG, lung test, labs, etc, etc).  And then I will have my 5th chemo treatment at Huntsman.  After that treatment I will take Neupogen shots twice a day for 4 days (sort of like Neulasta-stimulates the bone marrow and forces it into my blood stream), and then I will have 2-4 days of stem cell harvesting.  Then I will come back home to have one last chemo treatment.  YAHOO!  I can't wait.  I just might have hair by this summer. :)
     I did (obviously) get my bone marrow results back and they show NO SIGN OF CANCER!  As hard as it's been to go through chemo physically and mentally, I'm so thankful to have the cancer gone.  My "New Year" for me will start in February where I will be looking for some new things to add to my "health regime".  Some of them will include some natural approaches to keeping the cancer gone.  I've had lots of wonderful friends with lots of ideas, but I am always looking to try new things.  Let me know of you've heard of anything that is a natural anti-cancer.  I would love to have this cancer stay gone for a long, long time.
   As soon as my last chemo is done (Feb 7th) I will be starting a 2 year Rituxin maintenance plan.  Basically I will have a 6 hour injection once a week for 4 weeks, every 6 months for 2 years.   Confusing??  yep.  Having the Rituxin alone is not a big deal.  Besides being a little time consuming, it does not have the harsh side effects that chemo does.   It is just another precaution in keeping the slow-growing cancer away.
   I know I've made it very clear I'm cancer free...but I probably should make it clear that my cancer (Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma) is not curable.  It can come back at any time.  BUT>>>>> it can stay gone too.  And that is what I will choose to focus on.  Through faith, prayer and being proactive I truly believe this cancer will stay gone.  But having the clean stem cells in "the freezer section" at Huntsman will be a good back up plan just in case.
   Even though I'm looking forward to going down to Salt Lake and getting past the next phase of my treatment, I'm so sad to leave my kids behind.  Larry will be staying home with them to help them keep their routine (school, etc).  But I hate the idea of being away from my kids.  Although when I look at things on a much bigger scale, this is such a short period of time.  I hope it goes by fast.  I plan on getting lots of loves and kisses before I leave, and twice as many when I get home.

PS:
Have I mentioned lately how wonderful my husband is?  He has not missed one of my appointments / treatments.  He takes care of me always (and that's not always easy).  I'm a lucky girl!

* Merry Christmas to ME *

So, there are lots of word to describe this last week;
Exciting, Busy, Informative, <painful>, Fun, Wonderful, Magical, Sad.

Exciting, Busy & Informative:
We drove to Salt Lake on Monday morning.  We left early because it was supposed to snow all day.  We decided to drive down I-70 to Salina, UT and then cut through to I-15.  We knew it would take a little longer to get there (it's usually exactly a 4 hour drive), but we didn't really factor in the slow drive in the snow storm and the newly potty trained little 3 year old bladder that would require extra potty breaks.  So......SEVEN HOURS LATER we arrived and Grammi and Grandpa's house.
Tuesday morning me, Larry, my mom and brother all headed down to LDS Hospital for my first consult appt.  Basically they told me it was wonderful that my last PET scan showed "CR" or Complete Remission.  They thought it would be best to extract stem cells now and wait to see if the cancer ever comes back.  If it does, I would have healthy stem cells stored for a bone marrow transplant at that time. 
I had scheduled my next appt to be that same afternoon at Huntsman Cancer Hospital.  We thought we would have an hour or two in between appts and had talked about all the fun places we could go for lunch downtown (PF Chang or Training Table or Hires, etc), but as it turned out, we only had 15 minutes to get from the Avenues up to the U.  Luckily we made it just in time, but no yummy lunch for us.  We shared a little bag of cookies from the vending machine.
My Appt at Huntsman was not quite as long, and they basically said the same thing.  They also said they wanted to do the stem cell extraction after my 5th chemo treatment in January.  The good thing about that is then I will have one more chemo treatment in February and then I'm DONE!!  Hooray!
We decided to have the extraction and transplant (when necessary) at Huntsman.  We really liked both facilities, but the fact that I have rapport with a Lymphoma Specialist at Huntsman that I trust, it just feels like an obvious choice.  Dr. Glenn (my Huntsman specialist) works so closely with the transplant team, it just felt seamless. 


<Painful>
On Wednesday Larry and I headed back up to Huntsman for an Appt with Dr. Glenn.  She agreed that my PET scan looked good.  She also mentioned that my bone marrow would need to be cancer free to truly be considered "CR"-Complete Remission, but she thought that would be the case since I had already had such a good response to the chemo.  BUT.......I would need to have another bone marrow biopsy to confirm that. 
YUCK, ICK, OUCH.    I have had a few procedures, as you know.  But the one that stands out in my mind as the most painful is the infamous  "Bone marrow biopsy".  In case you didn't know...this is how this procedure goes: (don't read if you're not into medical details :)
***************
You lay on your stomach and a needle is inserted into your lower back on the side. Lidocaine is administered to numb the area (lots of burning at this point).  Then a larger needle is inserted down to your large pelvic/ hip bone.  Once the needle is inside the bone, the liquid inside the bone (bone marrow) is extracted.  Problem is: the lidocaine can only numb the skin, not the actual bone.  So, when they are extracting the bone marrow there is a lot, a lot of pain.  And there's really nothing they can do about that.   Then they put another needle/tool down to your bone and actually take a piece of the bone.  This part doesn't hurt as much as it is very uncomfortable.  It's mostly a lot of pressure, and if you think about what they're doing it can really freak you out.  And then...it's done.  Probably 15-20 minutes total.
I told Dr. Glenn I was very apprehensive about the procedure when she asked if I would have it done RIGHT THEN.  She said she would give me some meds to help relax me.  But, when the nurse came in to give them to me she said they were Ativan and Morphine.  I've had Ativan before during chemo week, and I've had morphine before.  I asked her if these meds would kick in after the procedure was over , then I would just feel groggy all day, but not have the benefits for the actual procedure and she said "yes".  So I said "Then I don't want them!".   I can't believe those words came out of my mouth, seriously.  But they did, and I'm glad they did because when the procedure was over I was sore, but not groggy and miserable.  I'm not gonna lie though; I'm sooooooooooooooooooo glad it's over! :)
***********************************************

Fun, Wonderful, *Magical*
We had such a fun week in Utah.  We went to Grand America Hotel and did their lobby Christmas scavenger hunt.  Then we rode Traxx down to the Temple and saw the Christmas lights (is it just me, or were there a lot less lights this year??  Still beautiful though).
We had a big family Christmas party on Christmas Eve.  All the cousins put on a "nativity" program.  It was adorable.  Hope was an angel...literally.  I didn't know if she would go out in front of every one and stay there.  But she did great.  She loved being an angel. Lauren was Mary and Josh was a wiseman.  They were so cute and did a great job too!
And then.....Santa found us in Salt Lake.  He left lots of awesome presents for every one.  We had a wonderful Christmas!

SAD
The sad part was when we packed up and had to leave.  It was such a fun week.  Thanks Grammi & Grandpa for everything ♥



I have a couple extra bonus days before I start round 4 of chemo.  I go in on this Wednesday for labs and an appt with Dr. V.  Then I will have Rituxin and Chop on Thursday and more Rituxin and Neulasta on Friday.

I've really enjoyed this extra "feel good" week in between chemo treatments.  And with the wonderful news we received after my last PET scan I have absolutely no complaints.  I had a wonderful Christmas with my family.  I truly love this time of year.  I hope you all had a wonderful, Merry Christmas as well!  ~♥ 


ps:  This is my first blog post on my brand spankin new laptop.  Cute huh?  Merry Christmas to ME !

CLICK HERE FOR A BEAUTIFUL VID ABOUT THE BIRTH & LIFE OF OUR SAVIOR

Click HERE: to read about a MIRACLE

Well..there's just no other way to put it.  

I had my PET scan yesterday.  It went about the same as the first one.  Actually...it went a little better because during the part where I have to sit completely still for 1 hour, they let me listen to my ipod.   Now that I know about Pandora radio (best thing ever!) I put in on Jim Brickman Christmas channel  (if you don't know who Jim Brickman is...you need to find out -STAT!) Needless to say, it helped the time go a little faster.
  Then when I went actually in to have the scan they let me take my ipod  with me to the scan so I could continue to relax, me and Jim, during the scan.   It was wonderful!

  So, now the MIRACLE:

I received a phone call from my oncologist office and she said the report came back as follows:

Every location there was cancer from previous scan is 100% resolved.  Meaning it's gone.  100%
Then I said "Even where it had spread to the bone in my spine?"
And she said " Even there!".
And then she said............."Merry Christmas".

And then I said nothing  ('cuz I was a little teary)

But my next thought was "Thank you".  First and foremost, thank you to my Heavenly Father because I think of this as nothing less than a miracle.  I know ultimately I only have so much control over the course of my life.  I know that at all times my life is in His hands, and every day I have is a gift from Him.
But then the list of thank yous goes on and on and on.  And you're on the list!  I will never be able to express the gratitude I have in my heart for all those who have shown me and my family love and concern.

I will continue with my next 3 rounds of chemo because if there is any trace of cancer at all, it needs to be gone.  I will also still have my BMT consults next week and harvest clean bone marrow.

I will continue to fight this fight.  From day one I planned on winning.  I know it's not over, but it feels so good to know I'm in the lead!  ~♥

                                                   ( My best radiology report so far.............)

Center of Excellence

I'm very much into the holiday spirit now.  My Christmas shopping is about 99% done, and now I feel like I can just sit back and enjoy the holiday.
   My next treatment is not scheduled until the week in between Christmas and New Year's, so I get an extra "feel good" week.  I'm considering this a present from my oncologist to me! :)

  I got a phone call last week from my oncologist at Huntsman (Dr. Glenn).  We talked for about a half hour about what her thoughts were on my cancer / BMT.   Here are some things she told me (in no particular order :)

1.  When my cancer transformed into a more aggressive cancer,  I then had aggressive cancer cells, as well as slow growing cancer  in my body.
2.  This round of chemo should kill all the aggressive cancer, as well as the slow growing cancer.
3.  The slow growing cancer will eventually come back; although that could be years down the road.
4.  There is no proof that having a BMT at this point will extend my life any more than just having the 6 rounds of chemo.
5. It is a good idea to pull stem cells and store them at this time, because they will be more viable later down the road if they've been exposed to less chemo.

That's mostly the gist of what we talked about.  But it was good to hear her opinion on the matter.

I will be going in this next week for a follow up PET scan to see if the cancer is gone.  Then the week of Christmas I will be taking those results to 2 consult appts with BMT specialists.   I had already scheduled to have a consult at LDS Hospital, and then when Dr. Glen called she said she would have the Huntsman BMT group call to set up an appt.  At first this may seem somewhat redundant, but like I said before, I need all the info I can get before committing to something as big as a transplant.  Even just having stem cells harvested and stored, I want to make sure I'm at the best possible facility.
  I called my insurance to see if one was covered over the other (that always makes the decision easier :).  She said that they cover facilities considered "centers of excellence"; meaning they have a very high success rate, etc.  Of course that's where I would want to go, right?  So she checked LDS and Huntsman and told me they are both covered, and they are both "centers of excellence".  So she she set a contract for me under both facilities, and told me it was good for me to get a few opinions.  I was glad to hear that from the source that ultimately will facilitate paying for the services!

   So, long story long....  I will be seeing TWO specialists at TWO different facilities at TWO different appointments....on the same day.  That should help me make ONE huge decision.  But either way, it's looking like I will be having the stems cells harvested,  stored and saved for a future recurrence / transplant.

GOOD THOUGHT:

I am the proud recipient of answered prayers.  Whose?  YOURS!  I just want to thank you all again for you continued thoughts and prayers.  Anyone who has gone through any sort of trial will attest to this:  Prayers on your behalf are what keep you going and moving forward, even when you just don't think you can.  So thank you, thank you all again!  ~♥

( From last night at the Sutherlands event with Santa.  Josh (equipped with a balloon sword)  and Hope could not wait to help the SA bell ringer)

Hallelujah!

I had mentioned before "chemo brain".   It really is a real thing.  Today I started going through my notes I had taken the week before my last chemo.  They were notes from my phone calls to my oncologist in Utah (Dr. Glenn) and also the BMT (bone marrow transplant) clinic at LDS Hospital.  As I looked over the notes I could not remember where I left off with any of them.  Had I scheduled? Was I supposed to call back?  I hate not feeling like my brain is keeping up.  Let's hope this is a very temporary side effect!
  So I followed up and first called Dr. Glenn's office at Huntsman.  I talked with her nurse who told me this interesting news:

ME:  Did I schedule an appt to see Dr. Glenn on the 22nd of Dec? 
DEBBY (nurse):  Yes, but Dr. Glenn has looked over your results from your current labs / pathology /scans, and she thinks that this round of chemo could be a cure for you.  She is going to look over it more closely before your appt, but she feels a BMT could be jumping the gun.


So, at first I felt this was great news.  But because of the type of person I am, and I want to make a VERY educated decision, I still called LDS BMT clinic and verified that I had an appt with them on Dec 21st.  (And I did).  I will still get another opinion from a BMT specialist because I feel that if I look for all the info available to me, and I pray about it,  I will know what is right for me.  I'm also having a follow up PET scan on the 14th of Dec to see how this chemo has affected the cancer.
 

  Of course, I would love for this round of chemo to be a "cure" (which mean no sign of disease after treatment).  But I also know there is a possibility of the cancer returning at some point.  It could be years and years down the road.  So I'm trying to balance my decision between having the cancer gone for a long, long time (possible forever), and doing the least invasive procedure.  Not that R-chop in non-invasive, 'cuz believe me, I feel invaded.  But if this round of chemo is all I need for now.....HALLELUJAH!

CHEMO UPDATE:
  So, this week was chemo week.  I was able to have the whole treatment in 3 days.  On day 2 (Tues) I had Rituxin and CHop, and on day 3 (Wed) I had the rest of the Rituxin and the Neulasta.  On my previous treatment I was only able to have the Rituxin put in at a max drip of 100.  When they bumped it up to 150 I had an allergic reaction.  But this time was different.  On Tuesday I was able to have the drip at 150 and on Wednesday I was able to go up to 250.  What is the benefit to this?  It takes a lot less time to receive the treatment.  It means 2 1/2 hours for injection as opposed to 6 hours.  YAY!
  I have actually been feeling relatively good.  I feel a little achy from time to time, but I started taking Aleve and it seems to be helping.  The biggest side effects this week are: 1. Numbness in my fingers 2. Shaking.
Both of these side effects have happened with the other 2 treatments and seem to go away in week 2 and 3.

Did I mention,  I'M HALF WAY DONE!!!  I'll never forget my first day of treatment, sitting in the recliner thinking "I can't believe this happening to me".  My nurse Serenity (cute name for a nurse huh?) sat down by me to go over everything and I just looked at her and I'm sure my face said it all.  She just looked right back at me and said... "You can do this.  You really can do this."  She made that statement like she was just so sure of it.  So you know what, I just decided to believe her.  And now, I'm half way.  Whew!

GOOD THOUGHT:
Tomorrow is our ward temple day.  Well, of course I had no plans of going, I usually don't even attend church on my first week of treatment.  But this temple trip is different because it's my daughter Lauren's first youth temple trip.  I'm in the Young Women's Presidency, and I love going to the temple with the youth.  This whole year, I've been so excited to go with Lauren for her first time.  But of course having it fall on treatment week one meant I probably would not be going.  WELL.....as I said before, I've been feeling pretty good this week.  Compared to other week one's, I'm feeling great.  So I'm going tomorrow.  I can't wait.  It's experiencing the wonderful things in life that help balance out everything else I'm going through.  So yep, I'm going.  Have a great weekend!  ~♥

Almost half way done!

Today starts round 3.  After this week I will be half way done!  Hooray!

I went in to Dr. V's office and had my lab work done, my IV put in my port,  and an office visit.  Dr. V said she is going to schedule for me to have a PET scan in a couple of weeks to see how to chemo has affected the cancer.  She can no longer feel any of the lumps that were there prior to treatment, so that is a good sign.

  Tomorrow morning I go in for Rituxin infusion and also the CHoP chemo.  And then Wednesday I go in for the rest of the Rituxin infusion and the Neulasta shot.  Now that we know how fast I can take the Rituxin without allergic reaction,  they can better plan how long I will need to be there.  Also, this makes my treatment 3 days instead of 4, which means I should feel better one day sooner (I hope)!

I talked to Huntsman Cancer Center in Utah about a consult for a bone marrow transplant.  The transplant coordinator there told me my oncologist at Huntsman (Dr. Glenn) did not think I needed a transplant.  But she also mentioned it had been a while since I had seen her and she may not have all my current info.  I'm sure she doesn't because the last time I saw her was right after I delivered Hope (3 years ago).  So I scheduled an appt to see her.  That way all my records will be transferred down to her.  I would feel a lot better with her opinion if I knew she had all my scans, labs and pathology from the last 3 years.

  I will go to Utah to see her the week before Christmas.  If she does feel like I need to have a transplant, I will be able to have a consult with the transplant doctor while I'm there as well.  I'm very interested to hear a second opinion,  especially since the specialist from Denver was pretty adamant that I needed to have a transplant at first remission.

  Larry asked Dr. V what her opinion was on the transplant.  She just mentioned that it was a very good chance for a cure.  I told her I have always felt like I would overcome this disease and live a very long time, but I was still trying to figure out exactly what the path was that I would need to take to get there.

FREE ADVICE FOR ANYONE GOING THROUGH ANYTHING MEDICAL:
1. Always, always be in charge of your own health.  Always get second, and even third opinions.
2. Always listen to yourself when it comes to your own health.  No doctor, regardless of their education, should talk you out of, or in to something you know to be different.
3.  Search, Ponder and Pray (ever heard that before? :)  In reference to your health:  Search means "GOOGLE", and pray means pray.  But the ponder part is where you have to really listen.  It's what you will hear in your heart when you're very still.  That's the part that I think has lead me to where I am now.  Don't ever forget to listen.
4.  Don't be afraid of traditional medicine.  It's tried and true. It's studied and it works.
5.  Don't be afraid of non-traditional medicine.  There's a lot to be said for trying other forms of treatment.   Even if it's combined with traditional medicine. It  all goes back to being in charge of your health.

At my appt today I checked in and picked up my green form.  It's a cancer form.  It has to be filled out at every appt.  It's a questionnaire about how your feeling, side effects your having, etc.
I sat down across from a sweet little older man.  He said "You look like you're feeling pretty good for having to fill out one of those green forms"  and I told him this was my good week, but that I would be having a lousy week coming up.  He said he knew what I meant, he was going through chemo right now as well.  Then he said  "We're just doing the best we can to stay on this side of the dirt".  I just thought that was really funny (and true).

GOOD THOUGHT:
As I was driving home from my appt today, the song "Everybody-Rock Your Body" by the Backstreet Boys came on the radio.  I could not help but do the "car seat dance".  I'm actually pretty good at it.  Really, it just requires a lot of shoulder action, and also some bum bouncing.  You can't help but feel great while hearing a great song and dancing along.
   I've always been a "car seat dancer" (you too?).  When Larry and I were first married, someone from his work had driven past us and saw us.  The next day he told Larry he had seen us out driving, and then he said "Your wife was bouncing all around, what was wrong with her?"  And Larry explained that I was just dancing.  :)  Listen to that song....I promise you'll be dancing too!

I think I can BRAG because I'm AMAZED

So,  my cousin Derrick and my Aunt Eileen, knowing I would not be feeling up to doing much decorating this Christmas, offered to come down and decorate my house for me.  I was thrilled because Derrick has many, many talents.  Some of those talents happen to include decorating and cooking.
  Derrick lives in Salt Lake, so he drove out Tuesday with a car full of Christmas decor.  I had my tree up, but not a one other sign of Christmas in my house.  (see these before pics) 
   Well, fairly quickly Tuesday night the transformation began:

                                                           Josh helping decorate

                                                  The finished tree  (Shiny Brite ornaments were the inspiration for this tree)

                                         A hot cocoa break

                                                   Lauren drinking hot cocoa

                                             My Christmas living room

                                                

                                                        

      

                                 Derrick making more homemade bows.  Between the tree and everywhere else, he  must  have homemade 30 bows!  I told you-the guy has TALENT!   I think my mom is telling Derrick how talented he is in this pic!  :)

                                              Lauren and Larry putting the lighted garland around the cabinets

Even the kitchen light fixture has been "holidayzed"

Right this minute Derrick and my mom are cooking a fabulous Thanksgiving dinner complete with Pomegranate marinated turkey, homemade stuffing and homemade rolls.  Do you want to see my Thanksgiving centerpiece?  Derrick asked if I was done with the pumpkins I had sitting on my front porch.  I told him I was, thinking he was going to throw them away.  Next thing I know, here's their new place in life;

sitting in the middle of my Thanksgiving table.

See??? Talented huh? I'm very thankful to have been the recipient of such a wonderful gesture by my cousin and aunt and their family. I will thoroughly enjoy sitting in my Christmas house enjoying the beauty he created.  THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!


I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday!
And I hope you all remember to wear comfy clothes!