** This is a clarification post from a previous post ****
I ran into my friend Sue at the football game. She came over to see how things were going, and she asked "Who is your friend Larry that is going with you?" She was confused because she thought if it were my husband Larry, I would have called him my husband. Makes sense! Well, here's my reasoning:
Larry has been my husband for a little over 17 years. And he's earned that title.
But Larry has been my friend, my very bestest friend for the last 22 years. So the friendship title came first.
He's the kind of friend that works hard all day, and then comes home and sees that I'm tired and immediately starts cleaning or making dinner. He'll go out and pick all the fresh vegetables out of my garden (that he planted) and bring them in for me...even though he doesn't eat ANY of it.
He goes with me to every single doctors appt, scan, surgery, procedure. He holds my hand (when he's allowed to come in) even though one time ( years and years ago, like in 1994) he went to the ER with me because I had leg aches << very funny story>>, anyway when they talked about taking a blood sample, I looked and my friend Larry had passed out. :)
He encourages me to be brave. He takes over all parenting when I don't feel up to it. He's an amazing father to our 3 kids, and they would also consider him a friend.
Sometimes, at night, I will watch him from the family room as he cleans up the dishes from dinner. I think how he's been at work today, from 6:30am - 5pm and this should be his time to rest. But he's always so willing to step up and get things done when I'm not able to. Not only does he NOT complain one single time, but he'll then look over at me and say "Can I get you a drink? Do you want some water with orange slices in it, like you like?"
Yesterday I mentioned how nice it would be if we could fit both vehicles in the garage. My car was in, but on his side there was all our "summer" play toys, bikes, remote control cars, there was scrapbooking stuff, food storage, etc. Before I knew it, he was outside working on it.
Then I left to go have a fun girls night out, and when I got home...both cars were parked inside the garage.
And the lawn was mowed the kids had been fed dinner, showered and all 3 in bed asleep. :)
When I think of Larry, and I make reference to him. I just can't think of a better word than friend. I hope I'm half the friend to him as he is to me!
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Confusingly Clear
Dr. V called me today with the results of my MRI. Honestly, I'm not really clear on what the results were because she said it was good news, so I think there were things they were wondering about that turned out to not be an issue on the MRI. But she also said that the are some cancer cells at the base of my skull on the right side. And there was also some enlarged lymph nodes on the left side that could be causing the pain I was explaining to her.
Here's sort of the gist of what's going on:
1.Low grade Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma (which I have) would not typically spread to the bone. Although it's not impossible for it to do that. In this case I do have some cancer that has spread to the bone in my shoulder.
2. Low grade Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma can transform to an aggressive form of cancer at any time. If it did transform there would be specific symptoms of that, ie: fever, night sweats, loss of appetite. I have none of those symptoms, in fact I feel pretty good aside from the pains I've had in my neck / shoulder.
3. In any type of cancer your LDH level in your blood is elevated. LDH is a protein that normally appears in the body in small amounts. When you have an aggressive cancer the LDH level is quite high. My LDH level is in a normal range.
So, (that was probably super confusing - but I'm journaling this for myself as well) Dr. V thinks that even though the cancer has spread to some bone, she thinks I still have a low grade lymphoma. But just to be sure there has been no change / transformation she is having a surgery schedule to remove part of one of my lymph nodes so that pathology can confirm that. When we get the results back from that surgery she will know exactly what kind of chemotherapy will best treat the cancer.
This is what I have coming up this week:
Monday I will have a spinal tap where fluid will be removed to check for cancer cells. Then some type of chemo med's will be put back into my spine to kill any cancer cells. She said this was more of a precautionary thing.
And then I will call to schedule the lymph node surgery for one day next week.
I may possibly start chemotherapy next week as well. Dr. V said she will add some radiation for the cancer that has spread to my bone.
GOOD THOUGHT:
Even though I'm sure all that sounds kind of bad, I am so thankful if it was in the cards for me to get cancer, that I got the kind of cancer I have. There are so many cancers and other diseases that could be much, much worse. I am planning on getting through the next few months with treatment so I can have a
"HAPPY NEW YEAR". A fresh start to a new year. If going through treatments gets rid of the cancer I have, it may just buy me enough years and someone will come up with a cure.
I'm thankful for every day
Yesterday was a busy day. I had some errands to get caught up. So Hope and I were out getting things done. My plan was to have an easy going evening with the family. As I was at the gas station getting ready to get gas my cell phone rang. I almost didn't answer it, but it said "Unknown Number". That is either my mom or something medical. I answered it and it was Dr. V calling. Here's what she said.
"Sorry for the late notice, but I called Dr. Fan and we went over your PET scan results. We're seeing some things that are concerning us and we want to take a closer look. It looks like some cancer may have spread to your bone in your shoulder (where I've been having pain), and also there may be some cancer cells in your sinus cavity / base of your skull. We don't like seeing cancer that close to your brain, so I need you to come down right away for an MRI.
We will also want to schedule another surgery to have a lymph node removed so we can see if the cancer is transforming (even thought my cancer is indolent / slow growing it can change to a more aggressive cancer at any time) , and then we will also want to schedule a spinal tap next week."
This is hard to hear, as you can imagine. So, I thought, "OK, I'll deal with this" and I thought I was OK. But I noticed as I pumped the gas my hand would not quit shaking. Next I called some friends and arranged for my kids to be taken care of (HUGE thanks for Alissa, Chrissy and Sue).
Larry came home and picked me up for the MRI. I asked him for a blessing. Every time I have a blessing I always feel a little calmer, and I was able to stop shaking.
We went to the hospital and they got me set up for my MRI. I was really nervous about it since I know an MRI is where you go ALL THE WAY inside a tube. And then test is 1 hour long. And remember how I got claustrophobic in the PET scan which was a lot bigger opening, and I didn't stay in the tube the whole time?? Well, I lucked out because I had a very understanding nurse. She gave me some med's that made me a little calmer / sleepy. And then they put numbing medicine on my port so they could use it for contrast instead of giving me and IV.
I then went in and laid on the table for the MRI. The nurse put head phones on and asked if there were CD's or any type of music I would like to listen to. I told her to put in on 104.3 with the Gal Pals (thanks so much for the beautiful flowers Chelsi, Annie & Roxi). Then she put a cover over my eyes and left the room.
At that point I started to go back into the tunnel. I started to panic as I felt the tube rub against my shoulders and I could tell how small a space it was going to be. I didn't want to look though because I knew I would freak out. So I just laid there with my eyes covered listened to Annie & Roxi. It was nice to have some familiar voices to listen to.
The test is really loud (it sort of sounds like jack hammers) and there's a lot of shaking. But I just made myself not think about it and just keep listening to the head phones.
Some time after I'd been in there, the nurse brought me out and had a radiology nurse come in to put contrast in through my port. Even though I had the numbing cream on, I'm not going to lie, it still hurts. It's a little bigger needle than an IV needle, and it still has to go through my skin to get into the port. (The port is not there so it doesn't hurt to get poked, it's there to save your veins from all the stuff that get puts into you).
It wasn't horrible pain though. I'm very glad I have the port (and I'm glad it's a purple heart:)
So then, I went back in to the tunnel for a little while. The nurse could talk to me through the headphones and every once in a while she'd say "your doing great". Finally she said, OK, we're all done. So at that point before she pulled me out, I decided to look and see without my eyes covered. The tunnel was almost a couple of inches from each of my shoulders, and about 6 inches from my face. I'm so glad I did not know that! When I came out, the nurse said I had been in there for TWO HOURS.
I had called the nurse at Dr. V's office and asked if I would have to wait until Monday for the results, and she said no. But I didn't hear from anyone last night (although it was after 6 by the time I was done). I will give them a few hours this morning, and then I'm calling the doctor on call.
When I got home, I found all my kids to be taken care of and fed dinner . Lauren was taken to every place she needed to go. Then dinner was brought over for Larry and I. I always knew I had wonderful friends, but I will never, never, never be able to tell them how much it means to me that they're are there for me right now. I wish I could.
It breaks my heart to have to call my family and friends out of state with news like this. I know they want so badly to be here with me right now. They are a HUGE support to me, and just talking to them makes me feel better. I've got a wonderful family!
GOOD THOUGHT FOR TODAY:
It's 7 am I'm sitting in my office looking out the window. The sky to the east is bright orange as the sun is making it's way up. The sun is coming up. It's another day. I'm thankful for every day. I'm going through one of those things you think "that would never happen to me, it always happen to someone else". But the truth is, it does happen to me, and it does happen to someone else. Maybe not this exact thing, but we all go through something. I know through our trials we gain strength and personal insight. We have to brought to our lowest, so we may be brought to our highest. We gain so much more too. If I had to list all the things I've gained from this experience, it would take 2 more pages.
You know I admire my friend Diane so much and she recently told me in the scriptures it never does say
"and it came to stay".
I lean so much on my Heavenly Father. I've explained to Him that I will do what I have to do. I will have the tests, the treatment, whatever I need to do. But I have a lot still to get done around here (and I don't just mean laundry). I know He hears my prayers, and He hears all of yours on my behalf. And I sincerely thank you all from the bottom on my heart. (my real one, not my purple one) :)
"Sorry for the late notice, but I called Dr. Fan and we went over your PET scan results. We're seeing some things that are concerning us and we want to take a closer look. It looks like some cancer may have spread to your bone in your shoulder (where I've been having pain), and also there may be some cancer cells in your sinus cavity / base of your skull. We don't like seeing cancer that close to your brain, so I need you to come down right away for an MRI.
We will also want to schedule another surgery to have a lymph node removed so we can see if the cancer is transforming (even thought my cancer is indolent / slow growing it can change to a more aggressive cancer at any time) , and then we will also want to schedule a spinal tap next week."
This is hard to hear, as you can imagine. So, I thought, "OK, I'll deal with this" and I thought I was OK. But I noticed as I pumped the gas my hand would not quit shaking. Next I called some friends and arranged for my kids to be taken care of (HUGE thanks for Alissa, Chrissy and Sue).
Larry came home and picked me up for the MRI. I asked him for a blessing. Every time I have a blessing I always feel a little calmer, and I was able to stop shaking.
We went to the hospital and they got me set up for my MRI. I was really nervous about it since I know an MRI is where you go ALL THE WAY inside a tube. And then test is 1 hour long. And remember how I got claustrophobic in the PET scan which was a lot bigger opening, and I didn't stay in the tube the whole time?? Well, I lucked out because I had a very understanding nurse. She gave me some med's that made me a little calmer / sleepy. And then they put numbing medicine on my port so they could use it for contrast instead of giving me and IV.
I then went in and laid on the table for the MRI. The nurse put head phones on and asked if there were CD's or any type of music I would like to listen to. I told her to put in on 104.3 with the Gal Pals (thanks so much for the beautiful flowers Chelsi, Annie & Roxi). Then she put a cover over my eyes and left the room.
At that point I started to go back into the tunnel. I started to panic as I felt the tube rub against my shoulders and I could tell how small a space it was going to be. I didn't want to look though because I knew I would freak out. So I just laid there with my eyes covered listened to Annie & Roxi. It was nice to have some familiar voices to listen to.
The test is really loud (it sort of sounds like jack hammers) and there's a lot of shaking. But I just made myself not think about it and just keep listening to the head phones.
Some time after I'd been in there, the nurse brought me out and had a radiology nurse come in to put contrast in through my port. Even though I had the numbing cream on, I'm not going to lie, it still hurts. It's a little bigger needle than an IV needle, and it still has to go through my skin to get into the port. (The port is not there so it doesn't hurt to get poked, it's there to save your veins from all the stuff that get puts into you).
It wasn't horrible pain though. I'm very glad I have the port (and I'm glad it's a purple heart:)
So then, I went back in to the tunnel for a little while. The nurse could talk to me through the headphones and every once in a while she'd say "your doing great". Finally she said, OK, we're all done. So at that point before she pulled me out, I decided to look and see without my eyes covered. The tunnel was almost a couple of inches from each of my shoulders, and about 6 inches from my face. I'm so glad I did not know that! When I came out, the nurse said I had been in there for TWO HOURS.
I had called the nurse at Dr. V's office and asked if I would have to wait until Monday for the results, and she said no. But I didn't hear from anyone last night (although it was after 6 by the time I was done). I will give them a few hours this morning, and then I'm calling the doctor on call.
When I got home, I found all my kids to be taken care of and fed dinner . Lauren was taken to every place she needed to go. Then dinner was brought over for Larry and I. I always knew I had wonderful friends, but I will never, never, never be able to tell them how much it means to me that they're are there for me right now. I wish I could.
It breaks my heart to have to call my family and friends out of state with news like this. I know they want so badly to be here with me right now. They are a HUGE support to me, and just talking to them makes me feel better. I've got a wonderful family!
GOOD THOUGHT FOR TODAY:
It's 7 am I'm sitting in my office looking out the window. The sky to the east is bright orange as the sun is making it's way up. The sun is coming up. It's another day. I'm thankful for every day. I'm going through one of those things you think "that would never happen to me, it always happen to someone else". But the truth is, it does happen to me, and it does happen to someone else. Maybe not this exact thing, but we all go through something. I know through our trials we gain strength and personal insight. We have to brought to our lowest, so we may be brought to our highest. We gain so much more too. If I had to list all the things I've gained from this experience, it would take 2 more pages.
You know I admire my friend Diane so much and she recently told me in the scriptures it never does say
"and it came to stay".
I lean so much on my Heavenly Father. I've explained to Him that I will do what I have to do. I will have the tests, the treatment, whatever I need to do. But I have a lot still to get done around here (and I don't just mean laundry). I know He hears my prayers, and He hears all of yours on my behalf. And I sincerely thank you all from the bottom on my heart. (my real one, not my purple one) :)
Thursday, October 7, 2010
I could laugh at this, but only a little later
Well, today was my PET scan. It was scheduled for 1:30pm. I could not eat after 9:30am. But luckily I could drink water. I like to put orange slices in my water (for a little flavor, plus it's cute) and they said that would be OK. So at 1:00 Larry came home to pick me up. When I got to the medical pavilion I was taken back for my IV (remember, they can't use the port). The nurse that gave me IV was a radiology nurse so she was able to check my port, and said everything was healing just fine. Look at me go!
Then she gave me a 16oz drink. It was warm and thick and white. She said it tasted like a strong pina colada. I took a sip, and let me just say, I don't know where she's getting her pina colada's but wherever that is, they're making them wrong!! It tasted like thick warm yuck. I had to apologize to her for the face I was making at her every time I took a sip.
I just kept on taking big gulps (and making weird faces) hoping the drink would be gone soon. Oh, did I mention she said the drink was barium. Doesn't that just sound lovely?? Larry (my friend I like to take with me for support / comedy relief) said they should change the name of that drink to make it more appealing...it's all about the marketing. So we came up with the name "berry-yumyum". I tried to think of that name while I was drinking, but I still made the face!
So then they took me back (my friend Larry could not come with me) to a quiet dark room. A radiology tech came in and said he was going to put something in my IV and then I had to sit completely still for 1 hour before my scan. I could not read or talk on the phone or even think really...just sit still!
Then (my favorite part) he pulled out a silver tube with a huge needle coming out of it. When I asked him why it was in a metal container he said "oh, we don't want to touch what it's there". Oh, then please do go ahead and inject that into my veins! :) And he did.
I sat in the recliner for about 3 minutes before I went to sleep. When he woke me up 57 minutes later he handed me ANOTHER cup of "berry-yumyum". He said to drink it and then come over to the scan room. So I took one drink, walked right into the bathroom and flushed the rest of it down the toilet. Goodbye Berry-yuckyuck!
Next, I was put on the scan table and he asked me to put my hands above my head. He put straps on to hold my arms in place and to hold me onto the table. Then the scan started. He told me it would take about 25 minutes. The scan was a little different than a CAT scan because when I started to go into the machine, it was more like a large tunnel. For a second I got a little claustrophobic. I closed my eyes and tried to find a happy place (which happened to be Maui, drinking a REAL pina colada, virgin style). Luckily I started moving again and came out the other side and I could breathe again. Of course at one point my nose started to itch, doesn't that always just happen when your arms are strapped above your head??
So then, the scan was done. And I will get the results on Monday at Dr, V's office. She said the PET scan would show if any cancer cells were spreading to other parts of my body / organs. She expected them to have not.
Then, we came home and Larry picked up Lauren to take her to cheer, and then he headed back to work.
****************************HERE'S WHERE IT GETS GOOD************************
(if you have a weak stomach....do not read ahead, Just end here. Have a great day!)
So as soon as Larry pulls out of the driveway I feel like I have to go to the bathroom. Like go RIGHT NOW! So I run into the bathroom and I go. Well, I was not warned that this would occur. Nor was I warned that it would be bright green. I'm talking fluorescent green. Light up the room green. Gross right? Well, then I started getting nauseous. I think it's the "berry-yuckyuck" wanting to come back up. It must be scared of the radio-active stuff that's now down there with it. Anyway, all the sudden I think "I wonder where Hope is?" I open the garage door just in time to see a friend of mine from church walking up the driveway with her 3 little girls. She was just stopping by to check in with me and see how I was doing. I thought to myself "Oh, I'm just pooping florescent green...how are you??". I spared her the details (do you wish you were that lucky), anyway, she headed out and I came back inside. Still wondering where Hope is I come upstairs and found her in Lauren's bathroom using a razor shaving Lauren's deodorant. Seriously?? I now know I'm no longer up for parent of the year. I clean up that mess, just as I start to hear a really loud noise outside. I looked out, and it was raining and hailing. For some reason, my car was not pulled in the garage, and I know hail can cause all sorts of damage, so I run downstairs and throw on some flip flops and head out to the garage. The garage door was up so the floor was a little wet. Have you seen what happens when cheap plastic shoes come in contact with wet / icy garage floors?? Anyway, I went down. I seriously thought to myself "Of course I just fell. What a way to end my night".
Then I got Josh and Hope in the car to go and watch Lauren cheer at football and on the way my mom called. I answered my cell phone, but I could not talk through all my sobbing. Because I just think, why did I have to have that stupid scan and drink that gross stuff and then be injected with that radio active stuff and then be woke up to drink more of that stuff to come home and poop the greenest stuff you've ever seen and then clean up the biggest mess ever and then FALL DOWN??? WHY????
My poor mom called at just the right time (sorry mom). I'm OK now. Actually, I can laugh at this all now that it's a little later!
ps My pee is bright, fluorescent yellow. :) Must have been good stuff in that metal tube!
GOOD THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
It's bedtime! G'nite!
Then she gave me a 16oz drink. It was warm and thick and white. She said it tasted like a strong pina colada. I took a sip, and let me just say, I don't know where she's getting her pina colada's but wherever that is, they're making them wrong!! It tasted like thick warm yuck. I had to apologize to her for the face I was making at her every time I took a sip.
I just kept on taking big gulps (and making weird faces) hoping the drink would be gone soon. Oh, did I mention she said the drink was barium. Doesn't that just sound lovely?? Larry (my friend I like to take with me for support / comedy relief) said they should change the name of that drink to make it more appealing...it's all about the marketing. So we came up with the name "berry-yumyum". I tried to think of that name while I was drinking, but I still made the face!
So then they took me back (my friend Larry could not come with me) to a quiet dark room. A radiology tech came in and said he was going to put something in my IV and then I had to sit completely still for 1 hour before my scan. I could not read or talk on the phone or even think really...just sit still!
Then (my favorite part) he pulled out a silver tube with a huge needle coming out of it. When I asked him why it was in a metal container he said "oh, we don't want to touch what it's there". Oh, then please do go ahead and inject that into my veins! :) And he did.
I sat in the recliner for about 3 minutes before I went to sleep. When he woke me up 57 minutes later he handed me ANOTHER cup of "berry-yumyum". He said to drink it and then come over to the scan room. So I took one drink, walked right into the bathroom and flushed the rest of it down the toilet. Goodbye Berry-yuckyuck!
Next, I was put on the scan table and he asked me to put my hands above my head. He put straps on to hold my arms in place and to hold me onto the table. Then the scan started. He told me it would take about 25 minutes. The scan was a little different than a CAT scan because when I started to go into the machine, it was more like a large tunnel. For a second I got a little claustrophobic. I closed my eyes and tried to find a happy place (which happened to be Maui, drinking a REAL pina colada, virgin style). Luckily I started moving again and came out the other side and I could breathe again. Of course at one point my nose started to itch, doesn't that always just happen when your arms are strapped above your head??
So then, the scan was done. And I will get the results on Monday at Dr, V's office. She said the PET scan would show if any cancer cells were spreading to other parts of my body / organs. She expected them to have not.
Then, we came home and Larry picked up Lauren to take her to cheer, and then he headed back to work.
****************************HERE'S WHERE IT GETS GOOD************************
(if you have a weak stomach....do not read ahead, Just end here. Have a great day!)
So as soon as Larry pulls out of the driveway I feel like I have to go to the bathroom. Like go RIGHT NOW! So I run into the bathroom and I go. Well, I was not warned that this would occur. Nor was I warned that it would be bright green. I'm talking fluorescent green. Light up the room green. Gross right? Well, then I started getting nauseous. I think it's the "berry-yuckyuck" wanting to come back up. It must be scared of the radio-active stuff that's now down there with it. Anyway, all the sudden I think "I wonder where Hope is?" I open the garage door just in time to see a friend of mine from church walking up the driveway with her 3 little girls. She was just stopping by to check in with me and see how I was doing. I thought to myself "Oh, I'm just pooping florescent green...how are you??". I spared her the details (do you wish you were that lucky), anyway, she headed out and I came back inside. Still wondering where Hope is I come upstairs and found her in Lauren's bathroom using a razor shaving Lauren's deodorant. Seriously?? I now know I'm no longer up for parent of the year. I clean up that mess, just as I start to hear a really loud noise outside. I looked out, and it was raining and hailing. For some reason, my car was not pulled in the garage, and I know hail can cause all sorts of damage, so I run downstairs and throw on some flip flops and head out to the garage. The garage door was up so the floor was a little wet. Have you seen what happens when cheap plastic shoes come in contact with wet / icy garage floors?? Anyway, I went down. I seriously thought to myself "Of course I just fell. What a way to end my night".
Then I got Josh and Hope in the car to go and watch Lauren cheer at football and on the way my mom called. I answered my cell phone, but I could not talk through all my sobbing. Because I just think, why did I have to have that stupid scan and drink that gross stuff and then be injected with that radio active stuff and then be woke up to drink more of that stuff to come home and poop the greenest stuff you've ever seen and then clean up the biggest mess ever and then FALL DOWN??? WHY????
My poor mom called at just the right time (sorry mom). I'm OK now. Actually, I can laugh at this all now that it's a little later!
ps My pee is bright, fluorescent yellow. :) Must have been good stuff in that metal tube!
GOOD THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
It's bedtime! G'nite!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Being brave does not mean you're not scared!
A week ago when I had my appt with Dr. V, she mentioned that my whole family would need a flu shot right away (including me). She said that once I start chemotherapy I need to be very careful about being around anyone sick. The flu shot would help eliminate some of that sickness in the future.
As soon as she said that I thought of my kids. To say they are terrified of shots would be an understatement. But Larry and I sat them down and told them we would be having a "family shot day". The reaction was not exactly jumping up and down with glee. But when he explained that it was for mom, so I would not get sick in the future, they were immediately on board. They put their bravest faces on and said they would do it, no problem.
Well, tonight was the night. We all piled in the car and headed to Dr. Gao's (my family practice dr) office. First Larry and Lauren and Josh went in together. I stayed out with Hope because we didn't want her to see the "fun" that would be coming soon. Sitting out in the waiting room I heard Josh start to cry a little. I felt bad because I knew he was scared. But then, I heard with start to laugh / cry with relief because it was over.
When they came out, I went back for my shot. Lauren and Josh came back with me for support. Then it was Hope's turn. Larry brought her in and I told her she would feel a little pinch in her leg (I hate those big surprises, I would rather know it's coming). She, of course, screamed and was super ticked as she got poked. As soon as it was over I said to her, let's go to the ice-cream shop and get an ice-cream cone. And that's all it took. Tears were over, and she was excitedly telling her brother and sister the good news.
We took them over to Enstrom's and got an ice-cream cone. As we ate, Josh said he felt bad that he was not brave. Larry quickly explained to him that being brave does not mean your not scared. Being brave is when you're scared, but you do it anyways.
I know I don't feel real brave right now. Especially knowing (or not knowing) what's in my near future. I was scared to death of the port surgery, but I did it. I don't know that I felt brave after, as much as pure relief it was over. I can't wait to feel that relief in a few months when Dr. V tells me my cancer has shrunk.
I'm truly thankful for the sweet comments, and for all the love and support. I think having all the thoughts and prayers..that's what makes me feel brave! Thank you! ♥ ♥ ♥
Monday, October 4, 2010
Today I got a "Purple Heart"
This morning I woke at 5am. I tossed and turned and could not go back to sleep. I think subconsciously I'm very concerned for the upcoming procedures / treatments. I guess I am consciously nervous about them as well. I was not looking forward to my alarm going off at 7am when I would get up and go the hospital for port implantation surgery. I'm always very nervous about things that I have to stay awake for, like this surgery.
Larry and I got to the hospital at 8am and checked in for the appt. My radiology nurse came in to give me an IV. This is something I am very used to; I've had several IV's before. She found a spot on my wrist where she wanted to give me the IV. It was on the top of my wrist, right where it bends. She got it on the first try, but for some reason the IV was very painful after. I was hoping this was not indicative of how the rest of the procedure was going to go.
The next thing she did was bring me the actual port to show me what it looked like before they put it in. And then the most WONDERFUL thing happened. The port was small, and purple, and in the shape of a heart. OMGSH. What could be cuter? All the sudden I was not so scared to have that put in me for the next few months. It's super cute. :)
See???? I know....now you're jealous right? :)
Anyway, here's how the procedure went........
They took me back to surgery. It was a sterile surgical room with about 5 or 6 people getting ready for me. I moved over to the surgery table and they started the "prep". They sterilized the area where the port was going to be placed (on my right side from my neck down to just below my collar bone). They draped the area and had me look the opposite way, so I couldn't see anything they were doing. I was able to look at my nurse and tell her if I was in any pain. Just as they started the procedure my nurse gave me some type of "meds" in my IV. I could tell they were working because when I looked at the ceiling it started moving. I think they used Versed and Phentanol. I got really sleepy, but was not 100% asleep. The doctor came in and told me he was ready to start and I would feel a little pain at first as they numbed the area with lidocaine. I felt about 4-5 shots, you know little pinches. But then I drifted out for a bit. When I woke up I felt a lot of pushing and tugging as they were placing the port. Then...it was over. Seriously, not as painful as I anticipated and....I ended up with a cute port!
I have 2 incisions. The larger one is just below my collar bone, and a smaller one a little higher on my neck. No biggie.
The incisions will heal, and the port is placed completely under my skin. It looks like a little bump. You won't get to see the purple, and the only time it will look like a heart is in an x-ray. But the fact that I know it's a purple heart made me happy!
Today, I've been sore. It's been hard to move too quickly or turn my head. I'm sure that will wear off within the next couple of days.
Thursday is my PET scan. They won't be able to use my port for that because they use a high amount of sugar ( cancer likes sweets, go figure) and it could make the port sticky.
GOOD THOUGHT FOR TODAY:
I had read that once you have a port in you can't lift anything over 15 lbs. Well, I have an "almost 3" year old that weighs about 30 lbs. I was sad I could not lift her. Well, today I asked my doctor if that was the case and he said NO!!!! I can lift my girl, not problem! YAY!!! Great news!
Larry and I got to the hospital at 8am and checked in for the appt. My radiology nurse came in to give me an IV. This is something I am very used to; I've had several IV's before. She found a spot on my wrist where she wanted to give me the IV. It was on the top of my wrist, right where it bends. She got it on the first try, but for some reason the IV was very painful after. I was hoping this was not indicative of how the rest of the procedure was going to go.
The next thing she did was bring me the actual port to show me what it looked like before they put it in. And then the most WONDERFUL thing happened. The port was small, and purple, and in the shape of a heart. OMGSH. What could be cuter? All the sudden I was not so scared to have that put in me for the next few months. It's super cute. :)
See???? I know....now you're jealous right? :)
Anyway, here's how the procedure went........
They took me back to surgery. It was a sterile surgical room with about 5 or 6 people getting ready for me. I moved over to the surgery table and they started the "prep". They sterilized the area where the port was going to be placed (on my right side from my neck down to just below my collar bone). They draped the area and had me look the opposite way, so I couldn't see anything they were doing. I was able to look at my nurse and tell her if I was in any pain. Just as they started the procedure my nurse gave me some type of "meds" in my IV. I could tell they were working because when I looked at the ceiling it started moving. I think they used Versed and Phentanol. I got really sleepy, but was not 100% asleep. The doctor came in and told me he was ready to start and I would feel a little pain at first as they numbed the area with lidocaine. I felt about 4-5 shots, you know little pinches. But then I drifted out for a bit. When I woke up I felt a lot of pushing and tugging as they were placing the port. Then...it was over. Seriously, not as painful as I anticipated and....I ended up with a cute port!
I have 2 incisions. The larger one is just below my collar bone, and a smaller one a little higher on my neck. No biggie.
The incisions will heal, and the port is placed completely under my skin. It looks like a little bump. You won't get to see the purple, and the only time it will look like a heart is in an x-ray. But the fact that I know it's a purple heart made me happy!
Today, I've been sore. It's been hard to move too quickly or turn my head. I'm sure that will wear off within the next couple of days.
Thursday is my PET scan. They won't be able to use my port for that because they use a high amount of sugar ( cancer likes sweets, go figure) and it could make the port sticky.
GOOD THOUGHT FOR TODAY:
I had read that once you have a port in you can't lift anything over 15 lbs. Well, I have an "almost 3" year old that weighs about 30 lbs. I was sad I could not lift her. Well, today I asked my doctor if that was the case and he said NO!!!! I can lift my girl, not problem! YAY!!! Great news!
Friday, October 1, 2010
Yep...I'm a planner!
Yesterday I had a message from Dr. V's (my Colorado oncologist) office saying that Dr. Fan (my Stanford doctor) had called and canceled my CAT scan today. They said she thought a PET scan would be better to do and give them more info. So I'm still on for the port surgery Monday morning, and then I will schedule the PET scan sometime next week.
My positive thought for today:
Everyone gets sick. Everyone gets the flu or a bad cold that keeps that down for a little while. They don't get to choose when that will be, it just happens.
Well.........I get to plan when I'm going to be sick. And anyone who knows me knows how I like to plan things :) I get to get my house cleaned, laundry caught up, bills all paid, groceries bought. And then I can be down for a little bit! Yep, I'm a planner. :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)